she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
