she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
