Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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