So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
