Me. At least after what I've been through.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize