Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
