You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
