He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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