we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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