sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
