I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
