im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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