either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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