I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
