what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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