I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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