We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
