I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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