she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
