Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
