Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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