are you so shy because you have an std?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
