I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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