He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
