i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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