There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
