Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
