I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
