I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
