According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
