Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
