Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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