i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
