you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
