I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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