yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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