did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
