great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
