i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
