margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
