He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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