Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
