Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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