Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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