I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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