Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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