All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
