We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
