I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
