I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
