Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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