he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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