I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
